take it or leave it

it's nothing - no
big deal.
you can not take
all i've said or written
to heart even if it came from
inside mine.
my intensity is an internal light
not to be taken for granted.
these words are carefree and light
but do not take them lightly.
I am not afraid to commit to common record
my thoughts, ideas, insipid inspirations
declarations of This or That or Love or Truth
or Beauty or Him or Her or Them or Those
or These Things that come from
Wherever They Come From.
I make no promises.
I make no apologies.

ocean edge

sometimes i forget
that you did not ask
for my love
my body
my everything possible
these i reluctantly offered to you
perfect treasures in my palm
i shyly proffered with eyes downcast
not sure you would recognize their worth...
you took me by my other hand
and led me to the oceans edge
we watched herons entwined
and listened to the natural harmonies
of life and i loved.

singing.

singing.
feeling my jaws and mouth open
lips manipulating and dancing with tongue
together with my chest
feel it in my chest
release
healing powers
the marvel of the union
mind body soul
soulfully
i sing.

happy birthday, and night.

yesterday i was the one for you
today i am your favorite.
sometimes i'm too much trouble when i don't suit your plans.
i am not a part of your plan
i have and Am my own blueprint.
yesterday you had the time
today i am not worth it.
what i do not understand is your surprise
when i withdraw the Love Light in my eyes
what are you hiding
i ask?
you squirrel and jitter away
claiming you want Truth
but you are afraid of it.

Today it is your birthday.
Today, is it worth it?

HLF

we expect from our lovers

what we won't accept from friends.

we ask from our friends 

what we wouldn't ask of our lovers.

we don't treat our lovers as friends

what are lovers for?

what we would forgive in friends

we betray with lovers.

all in or out in the rain

too little too much

and we cause each other pain.

rough draft 1

wind whistles through spaces in rib cages
making bones sing like reeds on a salty marsh
in late november.
i stand in the moonlight, bathing
my skin in glow -
and the frogs calling for me
peet peet
we are here Now!
remind me that i am
solo sky warrior healing woman
sister stern mother
cold and brilliant
those who would dare to reach
dare to hope
dare to dream of being Man enough
to travel to the moon
to embrace her as an equal constellation
in her space.
those who braved the cold
and turbulent times from there to Here
would know her face to be warm
and the shape of her elbows perfectly suited
and waiting.

seeds

sunshine kissed hands and faces
stare at moons waxing and
this kind of magic grows
in starried measured
alone
come what will
I will hold this magic
these moments in my fist
like seeds held gently,
hardly touching healing roots
dig deep and feel my waters
Source ways back to roots
to create new flowers
from seeds scattered
in the hand of my heart

Heron

he walked towards me

into deeper water

wading, watching

i standing still

as he stands tall

self aware

i rise from the sea

to greet him.

silly little cigarette poem

you're as bad as this cigarette

each step with every breath,

carried to my chosen death..

tastes of ashes on my tongue

add harshness to the songs i've sung

when did i pick you up

when had this habit begun

when will i put you down,

it's hard to quit with only One..

rought draft 1, moonwalker

my mind has been out of sorts of late
old mirror images of Self have been tremulously lurking
in shadows where they shouldn't be.
i am thinking of you on moonlit nights
of phases and phrases of late
nights of whispers and owl eyes
blinking sheepishly into others Darkness
it seems so alien from our own suffering
and we suffer alone.
Alone we deal with so much
so many burdens now we shoulder over and over
and over sidewalks and down the steps
clippity clump our Souls thump with the cluttered baggage
strewn over these scapulas and skin
which we are in Alone.
Until our loneliness calls for another
and we yearn to touch skin and feel alive
and whole and whole lifetimes go by
without the touch of a single common hand.
how bland is a safe life
but what is safe?
We trust no one with our burdens and those we dare trust
we throw our burdens upon them as if
they are not already weighted down
and betrayed again by our own needs
we slog down the road to the end of our lives
passing strangers we should call friends
passing family we treat as friends
passing friends we do not call family
waving and smiling
we trot onwards, upwards we fool ourselves
into thinking thinking too much
will make us sadder
but if we could remember to feel
and think in the same footstep
and shake off our guilts and hope, fetters
which keep us from sharing glimpses of moonlit Soul
on starry night -
why we could walk hand in hand
and touch and talk
and share the bags
lighten the load without unloading
forget the burdens
dance in the street
sing on the path
love every moment and each individual
like we want to be loved and love
this place where we've all been put
for who knows what reasons except
the clippity clump
clump clump clump of our Souls
as they dance
out of step
in rhythm
to the mutual beating
of our loving pumps.

untitled secret poem

no no no no no
you don't want me
deep down
i am
so
Ugly.

communication breakdown (another one fails).

communication turned down
low
a fall out?
                    yes.
Unexpected?
no.

my morning

on a morning like this
i can easily forget you exist
that i never met you
that i never never
never
never.
why
do i do the same things
on a morning like this
i can pretend i don't care
about you or your big plans
and be resentful
reprieve from the way
i ought to move my lips and feet
tripping over words and wires
on a morning like this
i can forget and forgive
the force with which i forage for love
in a raining forest.

kill devil thoughts

i had necessities i'd never need -
an intention never met.
we were picked up and put in motion
to a somewhere we never went.
the road was long and lonely
but i had hope there by my side,
a cantaloupe for your thoughts
and a peach for mine.

there were fireworks in the darkness
set off by blistered fumbling hands
our silhouettes huddled together
illuminated on kill-devil sand.
so we left our trash and set back
on that path to the car
and re-traveled that road
on which we'd come so far.

later we were back at that place -
near to the beginning
but not in the same space.
once again coupled and deeply breathing
but the fireworks just weren't there
i whispered into your slumbering ear,
"thank you.
this is what my dreams were made of."

spoons

Elliot in the background,
Lulling us into lollypop-happy fantasy
Under a green blanket we cuddle, scarves on,
Heart to heart
Beat to beat.
Whispering into the bejeweled sky.
Running my fingertips over your lips
Tickling you behind your ears
As you plait the hair by my neck,
Sigh warm breath into the crispy air
And feel it bite your nose in return
Spirited autumn red orange and gold,
A moment of rest
A glimpse at peace.
I’m glad I got to share this with you.

blushing stars

i want to run into your arms and tumble,
legs entwined,
to the ground.
i want to roll around in your arms and kiss you
while the stars blush and huddle closer together.
you crumbled my fortress with a smile.
the little things you do
speak louder than you will ever need to.
i didn't remember that i could feel this way.

where is that girl?

where is that girl?
the one who wends
and weaves with words
it is absurd that
i do not know her now.
she has become
the other side of the mirror
(that mirrored woman mocks me).

how dare she look so wise,
so young.
which one of me
am I?
how can she know
what i have forgotten?
She who is so brave
how can she show
what was coming?

pop

pop pop pop
beat beat beat
tap my toes
dancin down the street
dreams were you
and dreams were good
until this moment
i've misunderstood
but now i'm seeing clearer!!!

untitled love poem

on nights such as this
when the amphibian symphony
wanes with the waxing
Moon, I can't help
but imagine my heart
this massive pump feeding my body
my breath in
and  out
out and in
my heart is a lark
flapping against my chest
bones and beak and wing
my heart is a singing loon
and silly Moon
my heart is thumping rapidly.
my soul is still
waiting
waiting
waiting like a dove
heart tucked beneath wing 
still
listening, stilled beating
and silly Moon when
you go to sleep
the Sun brings out the new day
and my menagerie 
tweet and whistle
and strain against their bony bars.
I am free!
I am free,
they sing
the Moon to sleep.
(i am free!)

(i am free!)

                           (Free as a bird!)

         

                (Free.)

zzzzz.

rough draft 2

i am not afraid
to sleep alone
is this supposed to be
what makes and
breaks what
exactly do you want
you coward
you control control
remote and lonely
never alone and you still
keep calling me\
softly sweetly
lies like code lies
timelines mean nothing
here I am.
here as now as always
has will ever be
what do i have to learn
to lean into my sails
to make souls take
expedient voyages
for foreign, sun-kissed 
Spaces.

_______

believe me when i tell you i grieve
believe me when i speak my truth.
believe that i love you
believe that this hurts me (as much as you do)
believe that this is ________
goodbye.

words are weapons

because Your words
hurt harder than Your fists.
because Your words hurt
the secret sweet sensitive soulscapes
within Me.
because within Me I hold secrets
that not even I could not know
nor
imaginate
nor
intimate
to You they are Lies
Secrets, You
discombobulate.
I am elated in finding 
the futile fruits of your Labours
piled high and rotting
in the brutal sum of My Answers.


No words or fists
No more Lies loosed
from our lips.

good lovin'

love is awesome!
love is strange.
love is complicated
and too simple.
Love takes work.
Love needs to grow.
In Self Love, Romantic Love, and Love of all things...
When it's good, it's good.

simple truths

be who you want
be who you are
love what you are
love who you want.

Untitled (love water)

i am the Lake

with depths uncharted 

and unexplored.

i am the turbulent River.

i am the gentle Brook

that runs alongside the meadow

beneath the sycamore tree.

i am the Rain in the clouds.

I am the Water.

You are the Sea.

i run through your hands,

i run back to you,

always.

We are a cycle.

We are a rhythm

endless

changing

perpetual

form is meaningless.

Love is the water.

Water is everything.

honest words

writing with twisted wrists
wringing wrists together
try to rub a nickel and time
fall down the consumer ladder.


writing twisted truths with wit
witty truths from twisted wrists
writing honest from whispered lips
writing honest through twisted quips.