dedicated to the one i love

all of the love poems
all the sweet words i wrote for others
lines to lay your heart down on
i realize now
with laughter
that each and every word
i wrote for you
not knowing you.

reading them fresh
for the first time in a while
i laugh the first healing laugh
to see your face 
respendidly smiling
through all the penned love words
formed from my heart.

a poem for you

let me love you

just a little bit

just for now

let the burden of my joy

be light on your heart.

let me need nothing else.

my love is a gift for you 

to smile over or ignore

whichever is easiest

i would demand nothing 

from you but honesty.

i choose you freely

my choice independent 

easily made

bathing in your laughter

obligations not made

i accept this joy

let me love you

just a little bit

just for now

let me love.

Until

the tenderness i could give you
all the sweetness of my radiant heart
my flesh made sunshine
my support never doubted
all my best wrapped up tight
my lips, wound tighter
and tighter until
 until
until
Until
until
I trust.

I do not trust that i will find you
but I must.
letting in half strangers
letting out half truths
living half alive
living half a lie.

hip to your tricks

i don't want you i don't love you i don't need you
i want to be your friend i want to be indifferent
but i know you and your insecurities
your petty ego
and i tremble.
disappointment to me.
gross to me.

go prove to a world that doesn't care
that you have it all under control
that you are truly wanted for You
and not what you can do for others' ambitions.

take a picture of yourself
of your words and promises
your un-listening ears
it will last longer than any last affectation
of affection from someone
who saw the boy behind the lens
and loves
no
more.
ever.

i miss you
but who do i mean?
friends who've died or
boys who've lied or
friends who live or
boys who give or
no one at all
'cept for me
and the carefree child i used to be.

richmond

from this deck that is not my deck
sun shines through different trees
sirens bay and howl in the distance
there is no water but i see the trees and all the life in them.

what the fuck dudes

frustration
such heartache
to be treated so poorly
by friends
lovers
would be lovers
i want none of you
and only that which makes me happy.

silly

where did all these serious words come from?

did they come from up in my silly head?

frantic funny words!

written wittily while

no one 

notices.

good thing!

don't take these words so seriously!

Whether or Not...Spring is in the Air!

WHY
Only on April Fool's
would it rain and snow

Whether - 

Choose one to be at tonight.

Tomorrow is new

Clouds shift winds change

I do not mind the changing Whether

You are here or shining elsewhere

I feel sun on my face.

Clouds go where they will

Starshines go where they will

Shine on and be Fickle

I can wait for Sunshine.

yawwwnnn

falling

asleep

like 

a 

log

i

rest.

spring has spung!

sunshine returns!

to our beaches

we go!

birds fly flies fly

a day flies by!

 get high with friends

and laugh in the sunshine.

who are you?

i could draw you 

in a hundred pictures

and never quite capture how

moonlight flutters through my bamboo blinds

to lay gently on your slightly smiling face.

truth

i miss you.

otters miss the water

when they are ashore

i am thirsty

this salt water

drives me crazy.

for two weeks

i have dreamt of you

placid dreams

wild dreams

aviation

fornication

each time

like every time

before

you rescue me

send me arrows through the silver mirror

in a silver jean jacket 

in the clouds

surrounded by beautiful people

you are a Flower King

key to nighttime enlightenment

without knowing

without me realizing

something I will never tell you.

the Priestess in me

the Shaman in me

the Blue Heron 

Frog

Jaguar

Moth

Kingfisher

Elephant

Alligator

Giraffe

and Cat

sing out in me for you

for your flesh

for your desire

your yes

your arrow right on target

your face between my legs

you kissing me

holding me

like in a dream 

you came

and went

like the tides

that wash my

shores every day

every hour

every minute

i want you.

dreams of you
reality made
overwhelmed
once
twice
now I am ready
to be everything
everywhere
are you?

Saturday Night

mane of hair
halo over your Grecian face
golden proportions perfected
every ounce of bone, skin, flesh
is perfect and
my own insecurities hold me back
from tracing my name down your spine
and kissing your collarbone and each rib
kneading and needing your hands to hold me
as you enter my watered gates
over
and over
and over
over
over
and over
again.
Please,
again.

it's fine.
really, it's
OK?

coming and going

how can i be angry?
how could i hate you?
i wish you were here right now
instead of floating away.
helpless and confused
i let you drift away.
just wish you could have stayed..

how weird.
unexpected.
i miss you.
i don't know why.

passing stranger

i was doing fine

i was doing splendid

i built up these walls right high

and i was safe in my castle'd heart

of stone and mortar and memories.

somehow you snuck in

through some crack or flaw 

i had not sealed up right

ran rampant through the ramparts

planted new seeds and tore up other starts

cut down the trees and built me some fences.

left me defenseless,

drawbridge down i offered

my queen, my heart, all i had to offer

asked for nothing

got nothing in return

you left me wide open

my hall is empty.

comfortable and secure

Spartan in my needs and desires

now I see my weakness

I see my loneliness 

even if it is solitude 

I choose.

Safer to be alone

Safer to be aloof

an Island always

inaccessible.

glittering safely away from the hands of Men.

glowworm

islands are all deserts
even when they are an oasis.
it rains tonight
i am thinking of you.

what will the tides bring?
when will they take it away?

mollygirl

content

like 

the

rising

and falling

of 

my

fat cat's

belly.

we are beaches and trees and ocean

we are spending a fair bit of time in Water.
showering for hours and hours
walking home in the rain
kiss by the shore
stumble 'round get clean once more.

you are the hidden spring in the forest
i am the fickle mist of the tide line.

too sad to write words
of wishes that go unheard.
moonlit eyes, bright on the bay
star's reflections bring light to my contemplations.
alone
alone
on the water.

late august poem

laying languid on nearly liquid tar
perched on your rooftop visited by others before me.
peering down on parking lots
finally, here.
here here HERE with you.
how many spaces
echo echo echoed over
until you are sung into my bones
and sunk so deep into the marrow
maybe tomorrow
what is tomorrow
when will this be an echo
will there be a last time
there is no time before this.
i have dreamed of so many things
the bright sunshine on the car windows
reflected on heads of working men and pigeon wings
will be bright in my memory when winter is Here
and your deck is bedecked with some other.

learning lessons

Anger!
You come to me so quick
there is little time to think.
Just React.
REACT!
Dolomite'd heart
drops to the ground and
balance removed releases
torrents of thoughtswordsemotionsmemories
comeroaringoutofmymouthandfingersfasterthanmylipscantake it.
Mind which is ever so vigilant
is ashamed that the water got so Deep..
(floods don't happen very often, you know).
being so careful, caught being ignorant.
Lessons learned and water under the bridge.

Faster than you came and with equal warning
You are gone from me like lemmings over the edge.
Bewilderment.

rhyming poem #2

so helplessly crossed in juxtaposition
want to acquire
afraid of acquisition.

sitting with head in hands I wonder
how can it be mended
what which I've torn asunder?

rhyming words to give rhythm to nonsense
no sense at all
to take down my defenses.

demons long dead laugh in their crypts
echoed through my tongue
become poisoned quips. 

i want to grow up

i just want to be loved.
i want the future Now.
i want to have faith that i know
what i want.
i want the courage set my course
i want to be content with my choices
i want to change so i can be
what i want.
i want to be with you.
i want to be near you.
i want to walk alongside you.

snow child

oh snow.

oh oh snow.

snow is my heritage in this body.

as much as I may shiver snow runs in my blood

ice shades these veins blue like water trapped under

the thick white layer that covers a pond.

my heart still pumps love and it pumps true

heat like that of a flame or torch

it pumps hot like pipes too cold to touch.

all these years i have played in the snow

forts with frozen teacups,

snowballs and snowmen. 

later I walked and stumbled down icy streets

protected by walls of snow pushed up by the plows.

higher than houses it piles all winter

until a child can jump without looking out 

the window with a whoop! 

snow puddles on the stairs and bedspreads.

I scuffle my boots through the crunchy icy stuff.

no matter where I am I remember who I have been

with each and every snowfall I am once again 

that child.

I look upwards with laughter 

snow in my bones

smile with frosted lips.

accept

Acceptance.
I accept you for who you are
I love you for who you are
I accept that we will learn things in time
I love the person you are trying to become
I accept the challenges
I love our potential.
It's there.

eyes on your own fries

you do not know what honesty is.
you do not know what humility is.
you are terribly insecure and cowardly at the worst moments.
you are a Sook if you do not get Your Way when you want it.
you ignore what others want and say and run away
if you can not manipulate a situation to your pleasing.
you are afraid to be alone with yourself.
you are afraid to be honest with me and
too afraid to ask me again, even to speak.
you are afraid you can't do so without accusing
Knowing that you have no right to be accusing
too afraid that your Ego may not withstand my
Eyes turned away from your neediness.
My Eyes on My Own Fries.

You must like yourself to be alone with yourself.
You must be alone with yourself to discover who you are.
I have come to terms with who I am.
Have you?

Do you distract yourself, still?

fleurs...or flowers by another name.

how else can i word it?
i want to be where you're at.
i want to be right there beside you.
i want to nestle our knees together,
lightly etch my fingerprints into your spine
with my fingertips i could count the ways
i want to tell you how wondrous it still feels
to look back on my thoughts, to reflect on
just what happened but when i do
it's all moments and each moment and all moments
spent in the illuminated spark and tinder of our meeting
and subsequent meetings
dazzle and join together as we did
in the night in the dark in an old house
i remember from a distant time
when i was not so happy
like i am Now (that I know you) to be alone
with my thoughts of us,
We far-flung lovers.